Soaring

Can I just close my eyes
And hide from all these words
Saying things like “I was raped”
Brings forth a flood of hurt
I’d like to close my mind
And find a place to hide
That doesn’t involve sex abuse
And all this pain inside
I know that I am back
With denial in my heart
If nothing really happened
Then anguish wouldn’t start
I just don’t want this to be me
Always exposed and weak
Forever raw from heartbreak
That’s not the truth I seek
I want the one where I am strong
Soaring over all
But maybe that comes after
One where I learn how to crawl
And maybe part of crawling
Is being open to what’s real
In being vulnerable in my life
I find courage to heal
And in that moment I can choose
To face the truth head-on
To accept what I can’t change
And my fear will soon be gone