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Right to Choose

He was my first, not by choice
Hard contact to forget
And so throughout my lifetime
The nightmares didn’t quit
Whether they were while I slept
Or flashes while awake
The pain caused by his actions
Almost made me break
I struggled with the knowledge
I could not save myself
I’d lost something so precious
Nothing now could help
A person is a virgin
Only for so long
There are strict rules deciding
But could the rules be wrong?
If someone takes it from you
By the use of force
Does it really count the same
As giving in due course?
My head can say what it wants
My heart’s a tougher judge
I reason I lost nothing
And yet my heart won’t budge
I was too young to know so
I’d nothing there to give
Still, he took the scraps he found
And stole my will to live
Thus leaving me the question
Am I one or not?
Who received that part of me?
The answer leaves me fraught

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