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Another day when I can’t see
I fall down again
Hurting myself in the dark
Don’t know how long it’s been
I can’t admit this is my truth
Under the circumstance
Not the very day my Lord
Had nails puncture His hands
To give me life, eternal life
And take away my sin
I can’t admit that I won’t quit
When God asks me “What then?”
What will I do after I hit
If not hit some more
I can’t tell Jesus that I’m stuck
In a revolving door
Hate myself and find a way
To harm until it hurts
Then say my prayers and read The Book
With all His precious Words
This way of life is always there
Round and round it goes
Will there ever be an end to it?
I honestly don’t know
So I keep hitting, then I stop
In anguished prayer this time
Wishing I could somehow sense
God’s love and peace as mine
Even as I mourn the loss
Of feeling close to Him
He points out that I’m not the first
To miss Him in pain’s din
Jesus Christ Himself cried out
To ask where God had gone
Proving that in this life still
It’s dark before the dawn
There’s going to be a denouement
If only for tonight
I’m captive now to see it through
I hope God shines a light
It could be something that won’t last
For more than just a day
But I’m praying deep within my soul
For God’s Son to stay

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