My Fight

You can’t hurt me now
The way you hurt me then
I’m working hard to change
The way it’s always been
I moved a thousand miles
To escape your touch
Cut off all contact with you
Somehow it’s not enough
You may not handle me
The way you did before
But it’s your face I see
When I double-lock my door
Your voice no longer tells me
What I need to do
But I am filled with anger
That I learned from you
You don’t have to be here
To cause me pain this time
I still feel every hurt
Because you’re in my mind
I close my eyes and I am there –
The bedroom at your house
Innocent and trusting
I lay quiet as a mouse
In too fast, in too deep
Before I understand
You are on me and then in
With forcible demand
I can not breathe, terror covers me
Survival is too hard
As first my body, then my soul
Fracture into shards
A veil of shame descended
And covered me that day
A wall was built around me
To keep people away
That was then, this is now
I refuse to stay the same
I want to take my life back
Obliterate your name
So I am going to speak the truth
And pierce the dark with light
No matter what may happen
This is now my fight