If Only

The scared little girl silently hides
In my heart, if not in fact
She’s not asking for very much
She only wants her world back
She is with me all the time
No matter where I am
Curled up and hoping
That I will take a stand
When I talk about
All the pain that I’ve been through
She cries so quietly
That I don’t know what to do
And when I’m being honest
Not hiding behind words
I feel her barely breathing
As she relives every hurt
She is me and I am her
Through every blessed day
Our worlds explode together
In a supernova way
I feel her enduring shame
Remembering what he did
Every time I speak out
It’s like popping off a lid
Showing off the oozing mess
That lies inside of me
The part of me, make no mistake
I don’t want you to see
If you only REALLY knew
You’d run so far away
I couldn’t catch you to explain
And beg of you to stay
This little girl and I
Are so very much alike
Shame eats away at our core
And our will to fight
But in honor of that girl
I’ll finally take that stand
She owns no shame for anything
That happened at his hands
If only she’d believe me
If I could just let go
There’d be no shame or secrets here
For everyone would know