I trusted monsters

Nighttime comes, winter holds its breath.
The cold in my house seeps through the cracks.
I'm wrapped in a blanket, wearing fuzzy socks,
Listening to all my favorites on CD tracks.

And just for a second, I'm lost in the music
Pushing and pulling the strings of my heart.
Dancing alone in a technicolor world
My worries and I are finally apart.

World comes back, far away and then close
And everything fades out to grey.
It surrounds me, it's a reality dose
As I'm wishing the dancing could stay.

I look out the window and all I can see
Is wave upon wave of dark black.
My breathing speeds up. I'm drowning in darkness
Even though I know it's a panic attack.

How could I forget after all I survived
That the monsters out there roam the earth.
They appear so normal, like everyone else
But they pick and they chip at my worth.

If I let my guard down, they'll slip in unbidden
Resume tormenting my mind.
They don't ask permission, aren't fazed by my strength
They'll steal all the power they find.

Never forget this eternal truth
These monsters in the world roam free.
A lesson I learned when I was just five
For the monster I trusted raped me.