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I run full force into the wall and am
SLAMMED back
Stumbling over my own feet.
I hit the ground.
Pushing myself up, I try again
The brick scraping my arm and my face where
It hits me
I fall down. Again.
A gutteral scream from somewhere deep in my chest
Bursts forth... NOOOO!!!!!
I crawl
To the wall and all of my
Questions, fears, anger about my life boil over
I throw up
Then take my fists and start pounding the wall
Blood pouring out of fresh cuts
I scream.
You FUCKING ASSHOLE
You BLOODY BASTARD!!
You -- you -- you --

rapist of children

I whisper into the night
And fall, sobbing, to the ground
Knowing I've been treated with more respect and
listened to better by this wall than
I would have been by my abuser.
Some goodbyes take time...
I've fired a warning shot
To my abuser, still in my head
"You SON OF A BITCH!!
I'm coming for you."