Freedom

Scared to death, thus pounds my heart
Catches me by surprise
Panic attack begins to start
Flooding both my eyes
A wordless scream shoots through my mind
Is that really me?
What horror do I think I’d find
If my mind was free?
Tight control is how I live
Thoughts tighter than a drum
I guess I’ve always been afraid
Of just unwinding some
So here I am, afraid to sleep
It’s making rest so hard
So terrified of what might come
If I relax my guard
My steadfast fear of letting go
Has roots down very deep
After all, this started when
I was half asleep
And even though I don’t believe
That I’m in danger still
It’s hard to change my feelings with
The sheer force of my will
So all this fear spreads and grows
Takes me to a dark place
In the end, my only choice
Is falling on God’s Grace
He gently rocks me like a child
Til I start to calm down
Reminds me that He’ll keep me safe
A promise with no bounds
I’d like to say I’m healed now
No fear remains in me
But that would be incorrect and
Maybe not meant to be
So I keep trying every day
To get over my fear
Knowing that inside my heart
Freedom begins here