Free

No one will have faith in me
They’ll think I made this up
How could I not remember
A reality this rough?
I don’t know how it happened
To slip right through the cracks
Or why, when I was journaling,
It brought everything back
I went from I’d forgotten
The childhood that I had
To “help me, God, I’m drowning now”
In memories so bad
I had to reexamine
The things I thought were true
And face head on life shattered
By memories so new
Time continued seamlessly
Left me so far behind
Struggling to accept the truth
That this new life was mine
Bombarded by the flashes
Of me as little girl
Lying on his bed as he
Blew up my perfect world
Touching me and hurting me
It took my breath away
As I saw the things he did
In shots as clear as day
Looking back at what went down
My heart got all confused
Thought I was responsible
For how I’d been abused
He was not an adult man
But he was old enough
To cover up what he did wrong
And pretend that it was love
I tried for so very long
To cope with all this pain
I hated myself for it all
Spent years engulfed in shame
I never wanted to believe
My memories were real
I tried to rewrite history
So I wouldn’t feel
But truth is truth no matter what
You wish that it could be
And only by accepting it
Can you ever be free