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Fine

I kept burying my feelings, suppressing them so deep
Until the day I realized I was living half asleep
Going through the motions of being fine while not
I kept myself from thinking of emotions that were lost
Walked away from memories that tore me up inside
In favor of pretending there was nothing there to hide
No abuse or person who had hurt me to my core
No reason to open up as I had before
Wiped it clean in one fell swoop, magically repaired
The million places my mind found my tattered heart lay bare
Now I'm at a perilous point from which I can't go back
I can escape all of this if I ignore the facts
Concentrate on being fine, secrets buried far
Never have to talk about the way things truly are
Should I plan to follow through on a pain-free life?
To stay shut down just long enough to wave the hurt goodbye?
The answer is so tempting, which may be motive pure
For conveniently forgetting all things I have endured
I know I need to make my choice, to my own self be true
What is the answer, I don't know; I don't know what to do
But I know that in the end, the truth will set me free
I just need to pray for strength and "fine" I'll truly be

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