Falling

The loud roar made me hesitate,
alone,
miles from anyone else.
Only me, blue sky, a stream, and finally -
a waterfall
reminding me of beginnings:
sometimes loud,
sometimes scary,
sometimes breathtaking,
like now.
The sun glinting off the water,
shining hundreds of welcoming lights
In my face.
My hand disrupting the falling water,
tickled by the odd combination of
hard and
gentle.
It was just water
making a point, though,
as it hit the stream
and sprayed thousands of hellos
in my face.
I inched closer to the falls.
Could I find passage
to stand behind it?
Rocks,
Plants,
served as my stabilizing
force as I hiked behind
and found a new world:
loud
but glistening,
blurred just enough
for me to see
limitless possibilities,
a world through water.
I felt strong
and relaxed,
forgetting that the waterfall
was no longer in my world;
I was in its.
What a day to have worn old shoes
with little tread.
As I shifted in place,
I slipped
and went down under the falls
water plunging over my face
air air air
No No No
Struggling to find a breath
but finding only water
up my nose,
down my throat.
I never knew water was terror
until now.
It beat me down,
disoriented,
unsure which way to move
I froze
sucking in more water
until
I felt something grab my arm
and yank it half out of the socket.
A nameless somebody
saw what happened,
saved my life.
But where were they?
I lay coughing out water
on the rocks
by the stream,
sucking air in.
By the time I regained
some breath and looked up
to thank my savior,
nobody was there.
I was alone,
surrounded by
the roar of the water
that would never be
just water
again.


NOTE:
Sometimes I find myself relaxed, thinking about happy memories and all the different directions life can go, but then everything goes from beauty to terror in an instant as I'm pounded mercilessly by flashbacks. I believe the only thing that saves me in those moments is grace, God's hand pulling me back to the present, even though I never see exactly what happens.
(metaphor • memories • flashbacks • grace)