Endless Game

I can't love you anymore,
Not and love myself,
And that is more important now
Than loving someone else.

We've been in this position
A million times or two.
I can't accomplish anything
Til I let go of you.

I don't know how to break through
Your enchantment spell,
But somehow I must do it
In order to get well.

I didn't know I still loved you.
It caught me by surprise.
It's not a hopeful kind of love
Filled with the best of highs.

Somewhere, somehow signals got crossed.
Confusion mixed with truth.
You shifted back into your role
As golden from my youth.

I know now it's not my fault,
But still you're not to blame.
I've worked through some massive steps,
But some things stayed the same.

I built you a suit of armor
Designed so it would last,
Protecting you no matter what
From nightmares of the past.

I gave you an out,
Said you did no wrong.
Though we both know, golden or not,
You hurt me all along.

But I set forth to push them down,
These pictures in my head,
Take the chaos of the world,
Put blame on it instead.

I was hurt; it's no one's fault.
It's just the way life goes.
That screams I still don't matter,
A takeaway that shows.

I can't love you so much that
I excuse all hurt.
But maybe it's just easier
Than to question your true worth.

It's not that you're a monster,
But you are not a saint.
I need to be objective,
Know where to put the blame.

Time to love you less, love me more,
Put the blame on you.
I'm tired of this endless game.
It's time to speak the truth.