Choices

What if...
Reality was a choice?
Think real hard and create
A Story
For everyone - including myself -
To believe.
Don't want to accept what was done to my body?
Say it didn't happen.
It was just a bad dream.
My therapist planted the idea.
It's the latest fad.
Flashbacks won't stop reminding me what I went through?
I've seen this plot in a movie.
I read about it in a book.
I've always had an active imagination.
But reality isn't a choice.
There's no
Story.
And I can try every second for the
Rest
Of
My
Life
To scrub the memories away, and
It
Won't
Work.
I can't change what happened by thinking hard,
Planting other scenarios in my head.
I can't forget what my body went through
By trying to forget about my body.
I can't be anything other than what I was -
A victim of sexual abuse at age five.
I can't pick and choose
What to believe
What to accept
What to heal from
Because
Reality
Is
Not
A Choice.
It's
The Truth

And

PRETENDING
DOESN'T
HELP