Childhood sexual abuse is a deeply personal and traumatic experience that can leave lasting emotional wounds. Mine did. Poetry has been my outlet for dealing with those wounds, my voice when I didn't think I had one, my saving grace when I hit rock bottom and didn't have the strength to look up. My poetry has been with me every step in this journey to heal. My goal in sharing these poems with you is for you to realize you are not alone. No matter what happened to you or what you're thinking and feeling now, you are not alone! What happened to you was not your fault! You were a child. Someone in a position of power over you took advantage of you. It doesn't matter whether or not you said no, whether or not you liked it or your body responded to some part of what happened. I say again, because it bears repeating, what happened was NOT YOUR FAULT! Please do not point the blame for it toward yourself.
Why is this collection of poetry called Kaleidoscope Poetry? Well, a friend once gave me a beautiful kaleidoscope fashioned to look like a Faberge egg. With it, he taught me a valuable lesson - I may feel like my life has shattered into so many broken pieces I can never be whole again, but that kaleidoscope proves me wrong. When you look through a kaleidoscope, you see dozens of colorful fragments (broken me) grouping and regrouping together to form something beautiful (healed me!) That is absolutely breathtaking to me.
One more thought I want to share with you is that in my poetry, you will find countless mentions of my faith. I recognize that everyone has their own pathway to healing, but I never would have gotten where I am without God, without Jesus. When I look through the kaleidoscope of my life, the light I'm looking towards is God. He transforms my broken self into a beautiful, whole self, and I would be lost without Him.
May my poems help you in some small way along your journey, and may you find the peace you're looking for.
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world,
the Master calls a butterfly."
-Richard Bach